~ internal ~

my mind clicks to things in stupid moments, i think the most important things click now and again and make you open to what is actully reality. how long has it really taken you to get over someone? ... truthfully?... i feel slightly guilty for the relationship that i have just got out of, it wasnt really long ago that we split and i feel like im over him already, well i no i am, he wasnt something speical, so i guess it means you really do no when someone is the RIGHT person, if he was anything superdooper then maybe it would take me much longer? ... but i was already ready to jump into something else when we broke up, bordem got the better of me with it, so its so easy for a human life, a whole world in one body to be so unimportant to you, something that you can replace with the next person thats walking by... it doesnt seem right does it? that you can take something just like yourself and not be bothered much by it? ... at the time of it you think the sad things when you break up, but after a not alot of time you relises that person wasnt someone that seriously did it 4 u? ... i think i write about it alot, which i think is because the more things go on the more i relises i didnt actully LOVE him, it was all just something to waste my time on and the first inital crush feeling that takes over everyone in a realationship.

just like the thing that is going on at the moment which i dont even want to class as going on, isnt something that i feel is right, if you dont like them really from the start? why will you at the end? it doesnt feel right, i think next time im going to make sure that i feel like i actully click properly .... maybe ill just not have anyone it saves alot of time doesnt it?