~ jelly hoops ~

why do i have a deep sinking feeling about something? the something that last time i was right? ... the one if im right, ill hit the fucking roof and i dont think anybody could actully stop me, the thing you would actully risk things for. lets just hope for everyones sake the feeling isnt right ... but your a total cunt so stop it.

i can see the wreak getting cleaned up by road side assistants, i think there going to have to send more than 1 unit out for this one though, i think it gunna be messy. how come when you get older, the problems or things you seem to come across seem to get a bit worse, i wish the cares and problems that you think you used to have when you were younger turned up and replaced the things i think and have. do you think its something i have to get used to? or ... is it not normal to have the feeling i do have. im not happy i have it and its bugged me now for approximatly, about half of a day.
have you ever really wanted to just put something out there, just say something that has played your mind more times than a pack of cards in a casino, but without a reaction, or if you could plant it down, with the feeling and the effect that it has given you, and just show how its effected yourself in the way it has, then you would no its been taken the right way.

im looking quite tired and i feel quite sick, my stomach feels like its gone a cement mixer goin round at a steady pace, but the smiles here, how thick are people. you can fool them with the slightest thing and they dont bat an eyelid. maybe there just not intrested, lets hope so.

i wish some people where intrested in some of the things i wanna talk about, my mate is, actully i dont think she is, but she listens becuase she knows it makes me feel good for someone to listen to it. i go on and on, and the things that i feel a bit ... weird about like the thing that i dont feel right about on my mind i no i can talk to her about, she wont care, she wont understand, but its nice to put it into some words and for her to pretend to understand. i wish i could make words come across the way i wanted them to, i wish they could make the impact like i want them to but instead i impact myself and just make my eyes keep the matchsticks in them to keep them seeing what they are. thanks alot for nothing please note what your doing in the book you note your life in.the shoes are new.