~ ambre solaire ~

im to full, im to happy and im to tired, all rolled into one makes me feel like my bodys in over drive well im sort of stuck in reverse, its like its jerking forward in a crazy fashion to say stop go to sleep please dear, but no, i think ill go see roddy then come back tuck myself up in my bed and watch something good. after years of hating this place i seem to have stubbled across something to good hidden away, well infact it was right infront of my eyes but i didnt open my mouth i just left it shut and carried on with what i was doing, after hating working at the pub at times, ive relised its given me something mind blowing, everything good is always right under your nose right? ... seems like its correct at this time.
he is a big eyed tanned built nicely bloke and i cant seem to stop talking about him, i liked him ever since i started the pub but everything was wrong, he was a customer, i was in a relationship and fuck knows if he liked me, so all round it was best to keep my moist lips zipped with a padlock, but a birthday of a mate just relised everything, and now i feel something ive never felt before, ive got a man soft on the inside with a heart, but on the outside the bloke every woman wants, the bloke that well makes you feel safe, the one where you no if anything goes wrong or your coming home stupid hours in the morning the man your hands attatched to will keep you safe. baa i cant stop day dreaming about men, there just well .... scrummy.
but my matcho inteligent but yet funny and smart man that can fix anything lives down the road, infact its a 5 minute walk. how didnt i no he was there all along? fate brings you into strange cercimstances and i think im happy where i am. the grass now on a shit day still smells fantastic, the birds seem to make me smile when there bobbing along collecting things to take back to there familys and a shit day of work ends up just seeming like a bit of an off day, my works picked up to a crazy standard which im even suprised at what i am doing and i cant seem to take the grin off my face. but anyway getting back to normal things ....
ive got a strange obsession with the old pac man games, not just the old console games the real classic machines you used to play on in the arcades when you where younger, the ones you would spend your pennys on for the rest of the day and make sure you got the usage out of it. i remember getting really far on a level and wanting to beat it, but i never did... so my next goal is to do it, i no that to find an old pac man machine that is in good nick and still works is going to cost a gold mine, but i think its time to work on my farther, my 19th birthday is fast approching so i think so should a pac man machine, my exuse for it will be ill keep it until im old, ill use it to the best of its ablitys and ... its a classic, whats better than that... emagin a talk in the pub, yeah ive just got a new shelving unit for the house its nice, yeah i no what you mean, ive just got a PAC MAN ARCADE MACHINE, its nice. id let people look at it, but not let them beat my top scores, i need to keep my confidence at a high. the oly problem i am thinking of is my sources, i have a top source to get it from, my best mates uncle is a traveller and has an arcade, well he has a few so im sure he has some contacts, i love knowing people.

ive got another gig coming up this week, and im more than nervous for it, ive had the point where ive played infront of my friends and that was one of the worst things possible, getting comments from your mates about something you have a bit of a passion about is the worst you dont no what to expect, but i was chuffed with my outcome. but im doing quite a few cover songs and quite a few of my own, so this times its gunna be a big gig, so its nothing i can just walk away from, but ok, ill do it. im exicted but hmmm rather scared! but when have i turned something down? ... ne yo so sick accoustic will be one of the best im thinking.

final destination 3's on so i think ill end up watching that for the rest of the night and go and see roddy maybe tomorow.