~ edit ~

hmm at this precise moment in time i should actully be happy, i should be happy im rid of something that makes my moods angry and my temper like a bear, i should be happy with the job i have just recived but yet im not with both of them, the job thing has bored me and im sick of working 11 till 7 in the morning, my body clock seems to be stuck in a warp that doesnt no what to do with itself, its like its awake then asleep in the space of about 7 minutes. the angry situation i am actully wanting back, im addicted to something that isnt good for me, and because it isnt good i want it, but yet its doing me no favours, maybe things in this life were really set out to be as strange as possible and the only way to resolve the problems is to recive more? with out more then your life wouldnt turn? ... hmmm i wonder.
my head seems really heavy, maybe the reason for it because actully it is quite heavy? or that the lack of sleep and knowing my friend is coming round at any time means more sleep deprevation, which isnt good. i think i might stay in tonight at watch some shit on telly, or maybe see if the source of my anger would like to do something tonight, which i supose i no the answer will be no, then ill spend all night thinking about him, and feeling like my apotite has disapeared and that im worrying about something that im not actully sure about. strange seems to be taking over my head, actully crazy taking over my head. infact fuck it, tonight i think i might even go and knock on him and make him come out. fuck love hurts.