~ dont loose your way ~

its damp, humid and overcast, it looks like the rest of the day will be the same, but my worlds sunshine is beaming, i can feel a sunshine ray that has seemed to warm the hole of my body up just leaving it kissed with the suns warms, even though the sun hasnt even apeared from the clouds yet. the reason for this? .... roddey stayed last night.
he left for work at 6 this morning and since then my bed has felt empty, im falling to fast still and im not sure if i can actully see if there is anything to hold onto to stop the fall.
everything seems good apart from the contact side, its still not changed but its ok i supose im getting used to it. this weekend is now a dread to me, satarday night now feels like i need to do everything in my power to stop roddey going to cornishes, why you ask? .... ant will be there. the lad i ended up kissing the weekend i broke up with roddey, the only reason im worried is he told me that he liked me the night i first got with roddey, i think if ant and roddey are together on satarday something will be talked between them, or at least my name will come up in conversation and i really hope nothing is said, im more than worried now... ahhhh im falling to fast for a bloke i would normally turn away and laugh at if i had new what i do now, i need to sort of disingage, maybe if something is said he will relises its because we wernt together? but what if he is to simple minded and just thinks i did it so fast because i didnt care about him? but i did, i did it as a rebound. hmmm its to hard to explain to someone that doesnt even no yet, should i tell him?. fuck this my heads taken over and i need some sleep. but hmm im not ready to sleep.