~ monkey shirts ~

the blog i love has finally blogged! ... im pretty chuffed, its been about a month since they have written anything, its ace, its more like a full version of my mind in someone elses, and its made me a bit happier for reading theres, how sad is that.. but its good stuff.

whow, christmas is finally here and it nothing like what i expected, instead its the oposite. its more like a celebration of how shit my family is and how big the cracks really are, its the time that makes you see how high you actully should jump, god its so fun packed!

for the first time in a while ive seen a few of my mates i used to ride with, its weird seeing them now from when i used to see them every other day, but... as everyone knows freinds find different lives as they go on, but its weird to see how much in just a few months people have actully changed, i dont think you relises how people change as you are close to them,unless its for the worst, no one sees the good in people until, its to late really, its something we all take advatage of but no one can help it. the question of all questions came as everyone knows it will ... so how are you? ... its as thought your inner person answers the question in your head, the answer of you really wanna no? do you want to no about my shite family that ive been blind to for so many years, and how much i want to just go?. but instead the words that come out of your mouth is, yeah im great! what about you?. you can see in ther eyes that they really understand that your lieing threw your teeth, but no one seems to ask, its the best way more than likely. the understanding of why i hate so many woman refreshed my mind again today, one of my mates that has just got himself a bimbo as a girlfriend, which i think himself is reliseing how bad the idea was. he decided to freeze in his chair as she started to talk, she started telling us all about her hairdressers job, ... fantastic. yawn. then about how great it was when she went out on the town the other night, the way they speak and the way they dress sums it all up, everyone that was there seems to be mortified. she was a total slapper that has probably slept with about 15 people in the last month, has a few std's and loves lambrini.
my mate seems to just try and talk over the top of her, and actully apologized afterward for her. me and my sister seemed to sit with the womanly stare to her all night, i dont no what it is, but we both react the same to people like that, the people with no real ambition in life. the sheep of the world, that like to cheak the latest magazines to see what the latest fashion is so they can run out and buy some new leg warmers. wot total fuckin wankers.
i wish some one would slap me actully, and wake me the fuck up. infact im sick, i dont give a fuck, why should i? no one else actully does. why be the one that does give a fuck about people and get shit all back? why even try? instead you get crap back that you didnt really ask for.
i think ive become to soft for my own good, but fuck that, if i get the shit shoved back at me, ill just give it back instead of actully being nice again. its not asthough there bothered right?
life is just a fucked up game to start with.