~ 250 cotton crocodiles ~

why is it that the world is different in every place you go, like every part of this country, is different to about 10 miles away, some how it always is but you dont really notice until you have to. im not really one to be WHOW about new year, but ... for some reason i have a good feeling about this year, well i hope its right. i dont no whether it was the fact that i wasnt at home, and i got to see things how they really are, when im not here, things always seem that bit better.

hmmm i want this year to be better, i want it to be better than n e other year in my life, but doesnt everyone? no one can have a perfect year, but you can have a pretty good one, last year was a great wake up call to me, it was something that needed to happen to me and it did, it was harsh, and it was good but it was something that i have needed to happen. i had a shit time mosta the year, but then other things sorta come along and make it that bit better. im happy i have things that have totaly crushed my mind when i think about it out of the way now. i feel weirdly refreshed, if thats erm a word to describe it as. bad things have taught me good things ...
i supose thats the way you have to look at them, and the good things make me appericate things that i have.
my child dream wasnt all what it seemed it was guna be, but its ok, im happy i no it, im happy ive done it and its an experience in my life i wont forget, its sorta a plus aswell as a negative, its wound me up mosta the end of this year, but that year is over. and ... its gone. so ive got good stuff outa it that im guna look at. i got a wake up call for my lifestyle, and relised that being out of the rush and drama of people and things is great, its a better way of life and its not boring at all, its far from it, its given some downsides with my family, but again ... blah blah blah, a wake up call, you crnt trust everyone in your life, and you need to learn who actully has your best intrests at heart, if someone is willing to do something a step higher than you think they would you no that someone is sorta trustworthy. but okies, i relises my dad isnt 1 to trust its been a kick in the heart and everything in my life that involves him feels like a lie, but its best to learn it now than later on right?
i want this year to just give me more positive things, it seems like theres going to be tho, after all ma bad shit that goes on i feel like i push it on one person that least deserves it, its ok tho, i think lol, after everything that goes horribly wrong in my world or what ever seems to feel like is badly wrong, i lean on the person that seems to make me see that he will stick around, every single person needs someone like that, no matter what person they are, happy, sad, whatever, they all need a person that no matter what crazy shit you decide is the thing you want to do, they belive in you, and they are there. i recomend them highly.
i went off the track of seeing the postive sides of things in the light that i should, the way that for everything thing that pisses you off badly, there is something in it that is good, its shit when you get wrapped up in the negitive stuff, it total pulls you down, but if you just see the slight good bits you feel totally different. i sound like i worship god : ... i dont!... far from it, but good things make your insides feel good, which, erm is naturaly a good thing?
what the fuck am i talking about, i have it all in my head, but i crnt write it, all i really want to say is, last year: it was a bit pants, but it was the wake up call my life needed. this year: something good ( i hope ). and erm that ther is good in sum bad things, but that sounds something like in the bible, help me. i wrekon ill no what to write when i wake up.